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Single Parenting - How to Get Your Children to Stop Whining

Being a single parent can be a very tough job. You may be next to the end of your rope on most days. Then, you hear a whining child voice ask for something, and that rope is hanging on by a thread now. How can you get your child to quit whining?

To start, take note of the times that your child displays the behavior. Maybe he or she takes this tone of voice when you are distracted with other things to get your attention. Hunger or tiredness could trigger the behavior. Or, your child may get whiney when not getting his or her way.

When you hear whining, stay cool and neutral. If you get upset, your child may keep doing the behavior to see your response. Ask your child to speak in a normal tone, or you can say "I can't hear you unless you speak in your real voice." If your child perseveres, state the limit such as no candy at the store now but you can have a healthy snack (say one that the child likes) when we get home. Still hear whining? Tell your child that there will now be no healthy snack, either, if the tone of voice continues to be used.

The key is to stick to your decisions. If you say your child cannot have something, then absolutely do not give in no matter how much your child objects. You may have to physically remove your child from the situation if he or she gets out of hand. Yes, you many be greatly inconvenienced by leaving a cart of groceries behind while you deal with your child, but in the long term, he or she will learn that you mean what you say and no amount of whining or tantrums will change your mind.

Another tactic is to avoid situations that trigger the behavior. If you know your child gets whiney when sleepy, don't try to fit in one last errand before taking your child home. Know your child's limits and honor them even when it's inconvenient for you.

An older child may whine that they are bored or have no friends. Ask him or her what they might do to address their problem. If you step in and try to solve it for them, they will learn to use that tone of voice whenever they want you to do something for them.

Whining can sometimes be a coping mechanism when a child's life feels out of control. Your recent divorce or bullying issues at school could be at fault. If this is the case, be sure to spend lots of time individually with the child to help make him or her feel secure. Counseling may also be helpful if the issue doesn't seem to be resolving.

Get the service of other people who are around the child frequently such as a child care provider, grandparent or the other parent. Let them know how you are handling the issue, and request that they take the same tactic. Consistency between the various environments that the child frequents is very helpful in stopping unwanted behaviors as speedily as possible.

Using the tips above will go a long way toward making sure that this behavior does not become a habit. Most importantly, do not give into the whining as you will only more of it.